I have been such a slacker about my updating my blog lately. I have excuses, but that’s all they are – excuses. The reality is I’ve been a slacker in most areas of my life lately. At least that’s how it feels – while everyone else tells me I’m doing the right thing, listen to my body, rest as much as possible. I am constantly dragging my feet. I have no desire to clean up. I say I want to do projects but then can’t get off my butt to get them done. But this is third trimester. I may have gone through a bit of depression last month as well as I was grieving my cousin’s fourth miscarriage and subsequent surgery, less than a month after my neighbor’s fourth miscarriage. It also happened to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, so I couldn’t help but be reminded of our own loss of baby Faith. Even while this baby is growing inside of me, I may have lost a little of that Hope that has propelled me throughout this pregnancy.
But, we have now made it to 34 weeks! Which feels like a huge milestone this go round. For one, we made it past the 25 week mark, which is when we lost Faith. Then at 32 weeks I started having contractions. Nothing horribly painful, but just the dull, achy, period-like cramping that for me has signaled the beginning of true labor. And those cramps were coming every 4 to 10 minutes. They started at dinner time so we rushed through the bed time routine, I skipped my Lovanox shot just in case it turned into the real deal, and went to bed. Once in bed they continued on for an hour. I was plenty hydrated but just kept drinking water. I got up thinking if I distracted myself with a book on the couch maybe they would stop. Were they just psychosomatic? No. They continued on. After two hours we gathered up the girls and headed to the hospital. Had I been 37 weeks I would have waited a while longer since they weren’t very painful or regular. But being 32 weeks, I knew that if I had a chance, I needed to get to the hospital to have them try to stop contractions. Just before we got there they became closer together and took over my entire abdomen. Once we got inside and hooked up to the monitor, they all but vanished. I was discharged, told to take it easy, and we all went home to rest.
The thing is, I thought I was taking it easy. I haven’t done any farm or house projects in a couple months. Not since SPD appeared. Taking it easy helped alleviate a lot of that pain so I vowed not to overdo it again. Then third trimester fatigue hit and all I want everyday is a nap. My kids have watched so much tv in the past month! It takes all I have to feed them and the animals everyday. Our dinners are the most basic, quick and easy meals we can come up with. And I don’t even finish the preparations most days. The Hubby is amazing and has been picking up my slack in every department.
After our practice run in the hospital I vowed not to drink coffee anymore since that’s one of those things that can lead to premature birth. But today, when I woke up at 3:30am after a fitful night’s sleep and then couldn’t get back to sleep, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I had my one cup. And I feel good about the progress I’ve made in baby prep world! I also feel more coherent and clear-headed. Hence, a new blog post finally!
A couple weeks ago Hubby assembled The Cradle for me. Today I put the finishing touches on by washing the fabrics and hanging them, with Little Monster’s help. As we were carefully hanging the fabrics on it, I told her the significance of this cradle. My Opa made it for his children in 1953. My two uncles slept in it as well as my mom. Once my generation came along, my sister, brother and I all slept in it. Four of my sister’s children have slept in it. And my children have slept in it. Baby Skywalker will be the 13th baby to sleep in this cradle. Orion was my Opa’s favorite constellation, so that is the engraving that is on the foot of it. Some of the bedding is from when my Oma was a baby, which I still need to hand wash before it goes on. My mom updated the hanging fabrics (I really don’t know what else to call that fabric – drapes?) when my oldest niece was born. So yes, this is a very special cradle. It is my favorite of all the baby things that we use for my babies. It is very sentimental. A true family heirloom. I reminded Little Monster that we have to be careful with it and take good care of it so that she can use it too if she chooses to have babies someday. She got really excited about that prospect.
Today I also washed all the newborn and 0-3 month clothes, folded them and put them away. They aren’t in their permanent home, but in a drawer in our bedroom since that’s where he’ll live for the first few months. I still haven’t figured out how I’m going to store clothes for three kids in one room, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Right now I’m waiting for diapers to come out of the dryer so I can find a spot for them and put them away.
At my appointment on Monday we scheduled my induction for December 5. I’m still not super thrilled about having to have an induction, and I’m a little worried about all the interventions that often arise from inductions, but given that this is a high risk pregnancy, I see the logic behind this medically-necessary induction. I’ve also heard many positive stories recently from people who have had inductions at our local hospital. The practice run helped alleviate a lot of anxiety I had. Knowing I have a friend in labor and delivery helps a ton. And after talking to Dr. G on Monday I am reassured that I can still call the shots even in this unfamiliar territory for me. After asking all my questions, he finally looked at me and said, “This is your labor. You get to make the choices. You can go left or right and we might guide you when needed. But this is your labor.” Have I mentioned how much I love Dr. G?!
So we now have a countdown to the final days. We have less than 4 weeks to get everything ready. We also know that Little Man could decide to come anytime before then, although given my history it is not likely. But this is a different pregnancy so you just never know! Our plan is to go off the blood thinners a week before induction to reduce my chances of bleeding out. A few days before induction I will start doing all.the.things. to try and induce labor naturally. And if we make it to December 5 then so be it. We may have a plan, but we trust His Plan.
My farm chore schedule is typed up for those who will be helping run the farm while I’m out of commission (including the hubby!). This is a full one-page Word document! When I typed it all out I finally realized why I’m so tired all the time! We have people on call to help with the girls in case he decides to come early, and my mom is planning to come down on induction day to help out. We have some freezer meals prepared – and I’m trying so hard not to dip into them too early so they are still here when we really need them!
I’m feeling good about all this baby prep. I feel like if he were to come today we’d be ok. I hope he cooks a little longer, but there’s a lot of peace of mind that comes from having things ready.