We’ve decided not to send Little Monster to VPK next year, but keep her (and Little Miss) at their little preschool two days a week and homeschool on the side. One of my goals is to incorporate Christian education into my ‘curriculum.’ Children should learn the foundations of our faith first at home, and then build on it through the knowledge and wisdom of others and personal study. Continue reading
We’re a week into January and I’m finally starting to look to the new year and make some goals. This is pretty typical for me though. I have a January birthday, so I always give myself a little extra time to ‘debrief’ from the previous year before moving into the new one. Especially this year – 2016 was extra… eventful. I hadn’t planned it, but the themes of 2016 ended up being community, thankfulness, and family. My Bible verse for the year was Jeremiah 29:11-13, “‘For I know the Plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you….'” Continue reading
This song plays loudly every time I hear it.
Thy Will – Hillary Scott and Family
When I first heard it a month ago it put me in tears, thinking of how our heart break six months ago was part of God’s Plan. There’s nothing we could do but say, Thy Will, knowing that His Plan is the best, even when it doesn’t feel like it at the time, even when we don’t understand it. Continue reading
Six months. Twenty six weeks. Half a year since we said goodbye to baby Faith. I have dealt with so many emotions in that time. Not having a reason of death was maybe the hardest thing for me to accept. And so I blamed myself. I dealt with the guilt. I forgave myself. I vowed to do better next time. Continue reading
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seven times seventy.” Matthew 18:21-22 Continue reading
Would you care to join me on a new journey? This is a journey of hope. A hope for tomorrow. A hope for new life.
We are once again assured of God’s providence in gifting us a new baby, a child that we so desperately want in our lives. A chance to try again and do things a little differently. Continue reading
I’m a music person. My life has a soundtrack. Each chapter of my life sounds a little different. Music is an expression of the soul. There were times when I longed for an English horn, to let out that mournful melody of my grief. But the oboe worked well enough with Nielsen’s Romance of his Two Fantasy Pieces. Most of the time though, I let others create the music. This is Faith’s soundtrack.
Motion of Mercy – Francesca Battistelli: This was first on my iPod labor playlist for Little Monster. I took my Kindle with me for Faith’s delivery and would rely on my Pandora stations for labor music this time. When it was time for the actual delivery, Hubby asked if I wanted to change the station (he truly is amazing, always knowing exactly what I need at just the right moment). I switched to my Francesca Battistelli inspired station, and as fate would have it, this was the first song that played as I was ready to push. The same one that started the pushing phase with Faith’s biggest sister. It helped ready my mind and body for the task ahead. “God give me strength to give something for nothing. I want to be a glimpse of the kingdom that’s coming soon. That’s the motion of mercy, changing the way and the what we are. That’s the motion of mercy, moving my heart.” Continue reading
Little Monster found some swallowtail caterpillars on my fennel plant this week. She petted them, transported them, and talked to them. She was excited each day to go to the garden and search for her new friends. But now they have changed into their chrysalis form. In the morning there were three wriggly caterpillars, and by afternoon they had changed. To Monster, it’s like the caterpillars died. She can’t play with them anymore. They don’t crawl around on her fingers. They just stay in their chrysalis, hanging on to the fennel. We know that they are about to become something even more beautiful. They will soon be butterflies fluttering about the garden. But I’m not sure that Little Monster believes it yet. She doesn’t understand how something can change forms so drastically. Continue reading
How can I be thankful for anything when we just lost our baby? What can I possibly be thankful for?
A few weeks before Lent began I had decided to focus on a thankful heart during this season. Each day I would write down three new things I am thankful for. No repeating things from previous days. I did this practice last year and it had such a positive impact on me I wanted to experience it again. Little did I know my faith was about to be tested in a way I couldn’t have imagined. Continue reading