Navigating Pregnancy After Loss With Littles

Pregnancy after loss is hard. There are so many doubts and fears. So much pressure to do the right thing this time. Prenatal care is treated differently. While it is a joyful time of hope and anticipation, it is also a scary time because your innocence is lost. You know that anything can happen at any time, and it is completely out of your control. All you can do is pray.

But pregnancy after loss can be hard for your children too. Continue reading

Baby Skywalker is Here!

I am once again reminded that nothing is gained by worrying. I was more anxious about this birth than the others. But this baby is our New Hope. I kept reminding myself throughout pregnancy that my hope comes from the Lord. That He is in control. As induction drew nearer I found more things to worry about. Labor and delivery has never worked out exactly according to our plan, but each of our births have been so empowering and a reminder of God’s providence. I had to believe this one would be no different. Continue reading

The Home Stretch

I have been such a slacker about my updating my blog lately. I have excuses, but that’s all they are – excuses. The reality is I’ve been a slacker in most areas of my life lately. At least that’s how it feels – while everyone else tells me I’m doing the right thing, listen to my body, rest as much as possible. I am constantly dragging my feet. I have no desire to clean up. I say I want to do projects but then can’t get off my butt to get them done. But this is third trimester. Continue reading

The Super Fast Car Birth of Little Miss

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Today is Little Miss’ second birthday! She wanted to hear her birthday song just as the clock struck midnight. So we obliged, through lots of tears. Then she wanted to be sure we remembered the moment of her birth, so she woke again at 3:15, about the time we left our house two years ago to race to the hospital. As I waited for her to fall asleep again I saw the clock read 3:44, the time of birth. Little Monster didn’t want to miss out on the remembrance so she woke up about then too. It’s only fair, she was in the car for the birth and could be considered a labor coach as she helped me moo like a cow through contractions. Everyone is tired today after an eventful night. We don’t exactly have the adrenaline pumping that we did two years ago…. Continue reading

Remembering Little Monster’s Birth

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(I started this yesterday, and then we lost power before finishing.)

Today I have a four year old. How did that happen so quickly? When I think back on her birth I still remember so many details with perfect clarity. Over the past four years she has filled our lives with joy. She has challenged us. Made me question my sanity and parenting skills on so many occasions. And she has shown me that she is a good person, compassionate, caring, empathetic, full of life. I’m so proud of the person she is becoming. I’m so thankful that God gave her to us to nurture her, watch her grow, and learn from her. Continue reading

Protein S

Six months. Twenty six weeks. Half a year since we said goodbye to baby Faith. I have dealt with so many emotions in that time. Not having a reason of death was maybe the hardest thing for me to accept. And so I blamed myself. I dealt with the guilt. I forgave myself. I vowed to do better next time. Continue reading

High Risk Prenatal Care

I’m beginning to like this high risk care thing. I always thought that if you see an ob instead of a midwife then you would spend 10-15 minutes with the doctor at visits, compared to the full hour that you generally get with out-of-hospital midwives. I thought that you would be treated more as a number instead of the individual and unique pregnancy that you have. Continue reading